Handsome Pants

Jacoby had school pictures on Tuesday.  Poor Ri was sad she missed her class picture because she's on inactive status.  But we got Jacob all handsomed up and practiced his cheeses (minus the "bah!")

Now I Remember...

Ri and I have been having quite a good time this past week. Recovery is going remarkably well, way better than I could have ever imagined and we're having fun being together without the stress of me working.  I think everyone is happier, including Mr Jacob who seems to be in a biting hiatus!  Yippee!  My house has never been cleaner, more organized and I am making dinner almost every night from homemade Greek to from scratch Mac and Cheese.  Jacob is still in day care full time this week because we weren't sure how Riley's recovery would go but next week he will only go 3 days a week for the duration of my leave.  It will be really hard to go back to work the end of March, that's for sure!

Ri and I have been trying to get out, the first half of the week was SUPER nice so we were able to go for walks in the morning to Peet's, Safeway, or just around the neighborhood looking for wild turkeys.  The rain came yesterday so I decided to take her to a movie in the morning.  My back is killing me from carrying her around so I tried to convince her to use her walker (which the nurse at Dr H's said she needed to start using since we caught her twice trying to hop on 1 foot - 3 days post surgery, oy!).  Well we had it out for a while, to the point where we almost didn't go to the movies.  I compromised and told her I would carry her from the car to the theater but she had to use it in the theater (how can I carry her and our popcorn at the same time???)  Her biggest concern was that people would stare at her, when did my little girl become self conscience about being different?  I finally convinced her that no one cared, that if they asked it was because they thought it was cool to see a squirt getting around with a walker and she could either tell them that she had surgery or that she had an owie but that was it.  So we headed to the movie, it was smooth sailing, it was not busy at all, we sat in the handicap seats so she didn't have to do stairs and there was only 2 other people in the movie.  We left when it was over and I thought we had conquered our issue, then a mom and her two kids, about Ri's age walked in and the stares were uncomfortable.  And then, all of the emotions of having a baby/child that I had when Ri was a baby came rushing back.  Their stares could not have been more obvious and the mom was the worst of all, I think she almost ran into something because she was staring at Riley rather than watching where she was going.  Seriously, rather than staring and making us uncomfortable, just ASK for Pete's sake!  And just like that, our time with the walker was done.  I so wanted to say something to her, to let her know that her stares and inappropriateness was making my daughter uncomfortable but I just bite my tongue, I didn't want to make a big deal and embarrass Riley or make her more self conscience, I can only hope for karma for this lady.

Hopefully Our Journey Ends Here

Thursday was our surgery day.  It was kind of surreal walking into John Muir with our 5 year old, after all it was just over 5 years ago that we walked out of there with our 4 1/2 lb crooked foot baby girl.  Kind of ironic our journey started in John Muir and hopefully it has ended there now.  Ri was such a brave girl the past few weeks.  The night before her surgery she broke down and it broke my heart.  My brave little toaster lost her bravery during the day and it made me realize how much I take advantage of her strength, she is after all, only a 5 year old girl, wise well beyond her years.  But the staff throughout the hospital (I've never walked through John Muir until this past week as I couldn't leave the post-partum floor the two times I was there but it's a swanky joint for a hospital!) was beyond nice, they all offered help if we needed it for anything, and it came across genuine, not like it was their job.

Our pre-op nurse was great and made Riley relaxed, she even called us as we were walking into the hospital to see if we were on our way because Dr H wanted to start early.  After checking in they took us right back and got Ri comfortable.  The pre-op nurse got her medications prepped, Dr H stopped by, and the anesthesiologist came by to explain the anesthesia.  Then they gave her a relaxation syrup which basically made her not care about the surgery or anything else.  And because we are those parents, we laughed at her sloppiness, her slurring and her incomplete sentences (just to note, after the surgery Dr H said she was hilarious in the OR, slurring and trying to tell stories that everyone was laughing and he almost recorded it for us).  They rolled her back and I lost it and started bawling.  I think 5 years of stress over her clubfeet finally manifested itself in tears.  We headed down to the cafe and had some coffee while we waited out the 2 hour surgery.  About 10 minutes later my cell rang with the hospital number and my heart dropped, it was the OR nurse, first words, everything is fine, phew, but the anesthesiologist wants to talk to you.  Dr H wanted to give Ri a different pain management protocol than we had talked about and so they wanted to run it by me.  I told him to go with what Dr H recommended, a spinal block plus the general anesthesia.  About 20 minutes before our meeting time we went to the gift shop and got Ri a balloon then went to our designated spot to wait for Dr H.  While we were there the nurse called to say Dr H couldn't find us, Ri was awake and was crying for us, they finished early.

We rushed up to the 2nd floor and Dr H was at the door, he said it went FANTASTIC!  I think perfect was his exact words.  He also did a cavus tendon release (the tendon on the bottom of her foot) and he said as soon as he popped it, her entire foot straightened out and was beautiful.  He then transferred the tendon as expected.  He wanted to admit us because of what he did he felt like she would be in a lot of pain and he wanted us at the hospital, I couldn't argue with that since when we got to Riley she was hysterically crying and screaming that her cast was too tight, she wanted out, she wanted the IV out, she was overall too agitated so they started morphine.  Four doses of morphine later, she was calm and ready to be moved to peds.

We got to our room and she was not happy but there was a playroom across the hall.  I will say that if God forbid your child ever needs to be in the hospital and you live in the Bay Area, John Muir is fantastic.  They did everything to make her comfortable.  The nurses were fantastic and they have a playroom on the peds floor which was right across from Ri's room.  We got her settled, they offered juice, took her stats and then a Child Behavior Specialist came in with games, DVDs, arts and crafts and began talking and playing with Riley.  She asked her questions about her favorite movies, colors, etc but in a way that was more conversational.  Shana was a God send because Riley was immediately calm (could have also been the morphine) talking about Sophia the First, her brother, etc and a few minutes later, Shana was in with an Ariel pillowcase for Riley, more games, Sophia the First and My Little Pony DVDs.  By early afternoon Ri was begging to go to the play room.  Dr H came by several times throughout the day to check on her and we made it over to the play room by wagon that afternoon.

At 7:30 we were settling in for the night and Dr H came by, totally didn't expect it so late.  He told us we could go home but Marc had already left to help my mom settle Jacob and put him to bed.  He told me to call to see if he wanted to come get us or if we should stay the night.  While I was talking to Marc, Dr H was hanging with Riley who was watching Despicable Me.  Ri was being her typical self, she burped and I heard him say "Riley, you are even adorable when you burp. Can I take your picture to show my wife, she would love to see you because I talk about you all the time."  All of a sudden Riley is giving him the biggest cheese ever.  We decided to stay the night because by the time Marc got there, they discharged us, we got home it would be well after 9:00 and I wanted her to get some rest.  She wasn't entirely happy but I let her fall asleep with a DVD on.  Of course the nurses were in all of the time (totally remembered why I was so ready to get discharged after having the kids) and so we got a lot of broken sleep.  At 4:15 Riley woke me up (very calmly) telling me that her foot hurt and could she call the nurse.  So they came in and gave her a dose of morphine and she fell asleep until about 5:30 when she was up and ready to go to the playroom.  Yes, my child is incapable of sitting still.

I got up, got dressed, and we hung out and waited to get discharged.  Bev from Dr H's office came by in the morning to see Riley which was SO nice.  Then Dr H came around 11 and said we could go home, that the fact that we were in the playroom was a good sign that she should be home.  One of the nurses even commented that Riley looked too healthy to be in the hospital.  By the end of our stay, Ri was helping the nurses clean her IV and set everything up for her medications.  We got home around 2:30 and I showered and went and got Jacob who was beyond excited to see me and Riley.

Over all she's doing really well.  We were on Tylenol with Codeine the past few days but I was able to wean her from it today and have just been giving her over the counter medication.  She seems to have the most pain at 6PM so  have to give her a dose of Motrin between Tylenol but other than that she's doing great!  We even got out for a walk on Saturday morning while Marc was at soccer with Jacob.  Ri chatted up some firemen that were in Peet's with us and they gave her a sticker for her cast.  She's loving the attention and is milking if fully.  And we have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of concern and goodies to keep Riley busy over the past few days.  I think she's gotten so many treats from people she's actually going to want to have another surgery!

I have been in awe of her strength and acceptance over all of this.  My friend Jessica wrote on my facebook wall: "Big mountains for such little feet to climb, but no other little feet could climb them so courageously."  So true, I can't think of anyone else who could conquer all of this the way Riley can.  So fingers crossed this signals the end of our clubfoot journey.

In the recovery room

Balloons my brother and his family sent

All settled in her room

Playing games with my mom

Mommy/Riley selfie

Having some fun in the hospital

I had to register her for kindergarten while we were there!  Ahhh!

Playing video games in the playroom

Finally heading home! She's excited, can you tell?

On our way out!

Saturday morning walk to Peet's

Pinkalicious!

14 Days of I Love You

The kids were so excited about Valentine's Day this year, they both got to wear pjs to school and they both had parties.  Rather than buy licensed cards, I decided to let my creative juices do the work and with a little help from Pinterest I found cute ones for both Riley and Jacob (non-candy as I was aiming for for him).  Friday morning I went into Riley's class and talked about my job as they are doing a career module.  Ri was very exited to have me there.  I also put hearts on their doors every night up until Valentine's Day letting them know all of the reasons that I love them.  Ri especially loved it and asked if we could keep it up for longer than Valentine's Day.

I Can't...

I had a parent/teacher conference for Riley on Friday.  They told me Thursday that they would both be there.   I don't have much experience with parent/teacher conferences but I convinced myself that both of them being there was NOT a good thing.  I really need to stop my imagination because the conference was great. Ri is doing fantastic, she's grown emotionally leaps and bounds in the last 4 months.  In fact, one of her teachers called it a 180.  She's competitive in a good way and she's more than ready for kindergarten academically.  They did say they have seen a slight regression in her behavior over the last week and all she's talking about is her surgery.  In almost every conversation she brings up her surgery, so they are attributing the regression to that.  I can tell she's getting anxious, she tends to micromanage and worry about silly things when she's anxious and she's become quite the backseat driver and worrywart over the past week.

I wish I could take her clubfeet and make them mind, I wish I could go into the OR for her and have the surgery for her.  But I can't.  So I took her to the nail salon, let her pick out our colors (a risky proposition with her) and painted our toes to match.  So while I can't take her place and I can't be in the OR holding her hand but at least our toes will match and hopefully that will bring her a little bit of comfort.

Third and Final Cast

Well Riley's 3rd and final cast has come and gone, I'm just now getting around to writing about it.  Not sure if this is because I have been super busy with work, life with a 5 and 2 year old or if it's because if I don't write about it, maybe her surgery isn't that close.  But, it is just around the corner, that is true, 4 days away in fact.  Riley's last cast went great, her progress between the 1st and 2nd cast was great so he took her last cast off the week before her surgery (last Thursday).  He wasn't there so we didn't get an update on how her foot was but when I line all the pictures of the progress up (see below), you can see a dramatic change. It's still not perfect but it's much better and what I think he was aiming for.  She's in her "robot" until Thursday so she doesn't injure her foot which is weak from 3 weeks of casting.  But we get to bath her, heal up her skin and she gets a break before the big day.  Truth be told, I will feel much better a week from today!  Of course Ri rode her scooter on our walk to Peet's today, nothing can hold her back, that's for sure!

A rare photo of me that Riley snapped while we were waiting at the orthopedic surgeon

She was annoyed with me because I wanted a picture and she just wanted to go back to school

Robot on and ready to roll

The latest relapse and casting results.  Her foot was so crooked on her 5th birthday, it looks so much better after the last cast.  Amazing what he casting can do!

Polar Opposites

We've been told Jacob is SUPER aggressive at school, and I believe them because every so often we see outbursts of aggressive behavior.  BUT I also see polar opposite behavior where he is the sweetest, most affectionate little man that I have ever met.  Monday night was one of those nights.  Marc went upstairs with Riley while I did Jacob's breathing treatment, after we were done I let him go.  I figured he would go upstairs because he was asking for Marc and Riley the whole treatment.  I checked my email and before I know it, Jacob was back, standing next to me.  I patted his head and then he climbed right up on the couch and cuddled right into me.  We watched Sesame Street for a good half hour cuddled up together before he was ready to go back upstairs and find Marc and Riley.  We found them cuddling in bed watching Care Bears so we joined them.  Jacob laid in our bed with his head on my chest and his hand on my arm.  I don't get how such a sweet, affectionate boy can also be so aggressive!

We have lots of pictures of our cuddles because he kept saying "More cheese!"

Weekend Happenings

We had a quiet, yet fun weekend this weekend.  Saturday Jacob had his second soccer practice.  The coach seemed better than the coach the week before but Jacob was less than focused.  In fact the coach prefaced the practice by saying it will be really frustrating.  Jacob is way too distracted to have Riley and I there so I think we're going to try just having Marc take him next week to see if he's more into it.  After soccer we headed to an awesome park in Danville, Hap Magee, to meet my co-worker and her two kids.  We had a lot of fun but had to bail before Jacob turned into a pumpkin.  I got the kids home around noon, napped them before we headed to lunch at Sweet Tomatoes.  Think soup and salad buffet, you can only imagine how excited Jacob was to be around all of the food that he could possibly eat. Even Riley ate and ate and ate.  She even ate raw spinach!

Jacob is too cool for soccer!

Jacob loved the wooden choo choo train at the park, he even shared it well!

What is this buffet and why have you kept it from me for so long!?!

Topped the meal off with an ice cream cone

Only my daughter would put peas in her ice cream

Saturday night my friend Lori stopped by with her daughter Taylor.  We opened up Riley's new Doc McStuffins Operation game

Of course Jacob wanted to try

Ri and Tay

Sunday it was cold and rainy, I can't complain since we have had zero winter all season.  We ran to the grocery store before it got crazy for Super Bowl then we hunkered down out of the rain for the day.  We watched the IU game at 10AM.  GO HOOSIERS!  And then of course the Super Bowl.  We just hung out for Super Bowl, I want to keep a low profile until Riley's surgery, especially with the flu season we're having out here, I want to try to keep everyone healthy so as not to jeopardize her surgery date.  I decided it was a good time to put together Jacob's Little Tikes car that he got for Hanukkah, almost 3 months ago!  Note, to self, don't try to assemble anything complex with an impatient 2 year old around.  Once it was together, there was no getting him out!

My little Hoosiers

Watching IU with me!

We turned on our fireplace to take the chill out of the house and both kids just sat in front of it staring at it

Mr Impatient

Hey where are my wheels!?!

He really wanted to play with his car

We also found him a scooter and assembled that!

Finally ready to "beep beep!"

Cast #2

Friday Ri got cast number two put on.  The appointment was mid-morning so I decided to take her into my office for a few hours since Dr H is right by my office.  We drove up at my normal time, hello carpool lane!  I'm not sure if it was worth having Riley's backseat driving, she was quite the micro manager/worry wart on Friday but it sure was nice to use the carpool lane on the way up.  Ri had fun at work, since it was Friday, there were not a lot of people there but my row was full and my boss was there as well as two other co-workers and our admin so she had fun talking to everyone.  She also got to taste two of our new cereals for breakfast which she thought was awesome.  They come out this summer so she got a sneak peak at what we're coming out with.  She was a fan!  Then she finished her homework, asked some people to sign her cast, and then worked on some rainbow loom bracelets before we had to head to Dr H.

Casting went well, her foot is stiffer than Dr H would have liked to see but he said that just reaffirms that we are doing the right thing with the tendon transfer.  Jacob also made quite the impact on him this week because Dr H brought up how exhausting he is again today and how he was telling his friend with twin 20 month olds how exhausting he was.  Nice.  Ri micromanaged Dr H too, telling him that her foot was too far out, her leg was crooked so he set her straight.  It was pretty funny watching them because she had a comment for everything.

Trying out our new Jif cereal and Rice Krispies!

Kid tested and approved!

Signatures from my work

And one from her day care director

Foot after one casting

She cracks me up

Posing for our post-cast picture