When You're Stuck with a Day That's Gray

The kids got me the original "Annie" DVD for my birthday.  It was the first movie I ever saw in a movie theater, I was probably about Riley's age and I remember having to leave because I was talking too much but I love it and I was so excited to take Riley over the holidays to see the new version.  We've been watching the original a ton and the kids love it. 

Well Thursday, I got laid off.  I was half expecting it but also shocked.  After shedding a few tears, I got on the treadmill and realized a few things.  Yes, it sucks getting laid off, even if you hate your job, which I did, it still sucks.  I wanted to tell them to screw off on my own terms, not theirs.  But I got a decent severance, my last day isn't until April 3rd, and they are coordinating interviews for placement with Kashi, which we just spun off.  So I am optimistic, even though it still sucks and feels crappy. 

BUT...as I was running all of the stress of really the last year off it occurred to me that a year ago, I was prepping to bring Riley in for her ATTT and that night, I got to bring Riley to softball practice and that was pretty awesome.  So that awesomeness of where we've come with Riley and her feet, far out weighs the pure crappiness that was Thursday. 

I also started thinking about time with the kids, watching "Annie" and the words to "Tomorrow" popped in my head.  While, I wasn't ready to face the world and really wanted to wallow in my own pity party, I sang the words in my head "Just thinking about tomorrow, clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow 'til there's none/ When I'm stuck in a day that's gray and lonely/I stick up my chin and grin and say Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow/ You're always a day away..."

And it's true, tomorrow is a new day.  After a semi-decent night sleep, tomorrow is today, and the sun is shining and I'm feeling much better.  I'm now pissed I got let go but I guess that gets me one step closer to acceptance and action to fix the issue at hand.  But in the meantime, I'm seizing the day, I'm catching up on blogging (been way too long since my last post), I volunteered to help coach Riley's softball team since her coach travels a lot, plan on taking Riley to running club as much as possible, I' going to try to get as much quality time in with the kids before I land a new job, I might take this opportunity to re-evaluate my career (I might be ready for an industry change) and I'm going to get back to crafting and learn my new sewing machine that I got for my birthday.  I have been so miserable for so long that I've forgotten what I love and who I am so I am all about getting that back.  I made a joke with my old boss that 2015 was the year of me, Kellogg's may have tried to knock me down but I'm going to look at this as an opportunity (but all rights reserved to revert back to a pity party once in a while).

It Was A Good Day

Today was another whirlwind day but it ended up a good day, at least in the eyes of Riley. 

We started the morning off with Riley's first report card parent/teacher conference.  Riley got a very, very good report card and update from her teacher, we were very proud!  I got to pick her up after school because she had a 2:00 appointment with Dr Hoffinger. 

We grabbed a quick lunch at home before heading to her classroom so I could meet with her teacher to plan the Thanksgiving Party for her class and then we headed up to Walnut Creek for an appointment with Dr H.  I was pretty nervous, Riley's right foot has seemed a little stiff so I was concerned we might be heading down a relapse path even though I haven't seem any curvature.  While I was meeting with her teacher, Riley colored a picture for Dr Hoffinger thanking him for fixing her feet.  We also brought a kindergarten picture for Beverly.  We got there and luckily they weren't too busy so we only had to wait a few minutes before going back.  Riley handed Beverly her picture, which she LOVED!  Bev has always loved Riley, even when Ri was a baby, Bev used to scoop her out of her car seat and walk her around the office before Riley had her casts removed and re-applied.  Riley always calmed down in Bev's arms.  And of course we can't forget when Bev came to visit Riley in the hospital after her tendon transfer.  She's equally important in Riley's treatment as Dr H is. 

Then it was time for BossyMan.  He came in and Riley handed him her picture, he loved it and gave her a huge hug and then she told him about her Dashing Dolphins and her 6 dolphin tails.  He couldn't believe that they had a running club for 5 year olds but was very happy to hear about Riley's excitement over it and her participation.  He did the usual inspection and after watching her walk said he saw absolutely no turning in on either foot.  I let out a big sigh of relief and told him I was concerned because that right foot seemed tighter than usual and he said he felt that it was tighter as well but the position was good and there was no turning when she walked.  (Sad, that I can feel the tightness in her feet like a well trained orthopedic surgeon).  He also said that at this point (2 months before her 6th birthday) that it would be extremely rare to have an issue at this point on that foot.  He felt like we would have seen any issues if we were going to see them.  The surgery seems a success, the right foot looks good without surgery so there might just be a light at the end of this long journey that we've been traveling.  I am cautiously optimistic that we may be finally putting clubfoot behind us.  She's come so far and I'm so proud of her strength and the way she just lets it all roll off of her.  She could very well use her clubfoot as an excuse to not participate or do stuff but Riley has never let clubfoot get in her way.  I often wonder how a child who spent the last year and a half in casts and AFOs ignores all that and is able to run around and participate as if she's never been through any of this.  It blows my mind!

That's Riley and Dr H on the right side together

Check out the flexibility on those tootsies!

Miss Sassy!

Our traditional picture!

Since we were in Walnut Creek, Riley wanted to go to my office.  So we headed over there for a little bit, enough time for some Kellogg's treats!  There were only a few people in the office but Riley still enjoyed herself.

And I wonder why she likes coming to work with me!?!

Like most days; it was busy, chaotic, and exhausting.  But it was a good day!  I'm so proud of Riley's great report card, thrilled that her feet are looking good, and happy to spend the afternoon with her.  Work has been awful lately and Friday was a good reminder of what is really important in life!

Just Doesn't Seem Right

Last week I was in Florida for a National Sales Meeting.  It was my first trip back since Poppa Jack passed exactly one year ago today.  It just didn't seem right being there, knowing I couldn't go visit with him.  How beside himself with happiness he would have been if he were still alive and knew I was coming to town for my new job.  Truth be told he was the first person I wanted to call when I got my promotion and he would have been elated to have me there.  But while he was physically gone, there were reminders of him everywhere while I was there.  I was pretty grumpy, sad, emotional being there.  I was able to sneak away from my meetings and dinners and have dinner with my Aunt, Uncle, and one of my cousins.  We told Poppa Jack stories, laughed about him and it felt so much better after that.  But still on this one year anniversary of his passing, I still yearn to tell him things, call him for advice, have him assure me Riley will be ok with her foot, take joy in Jacob, and tell me he always has and will have faith in me.  I know we had 99 years and 51 weeks with him on this earth and I am so thankful he met my children, had a relationship with Riley but still I want more time with him.  I know it's greedy considering he was 6 days shy of being 100 but still, I want my kids to know and remember what an amazing man he was.  I can only hope that my kids value family the way he did, that they have his work ethic and his undeniable generosity, pride, honor and integrity.  I am so thankful for his guidance, support, and love of me and my family.  I am honored to have a son named in his honor but still, on this day, exactly a year from his passing, I miss him more than ever.

That's What Friends are For

Well I made it through my first week of work.  I must say that it's been hard going back to work, I definitely could get used to being a stay at home mom, I loved not having any pressure other than caring for Riley and Marc and the house had (notice the past tense, one week back and the house is a hot mess already) never been so orderly.  I loved that I didn't constantly tell Riley to get going or that we were running late or that we couldn't play because we had to get stuff done.  But alas the mortgage has to be paid so back to work I go.  So far I love everything about Kellogg's (other than the fact that I will be traveling 2 weeks straight including a Sunday departure), everyone has been so nice and welcoming, I got a sweet Ford Escape as my company car, 2 days working from home, summer hours from March-November (yes, there are only three months out of the year where you actually have to work until 5:00 on Fridays) and they even let me have a Blackberry (which ConAgra definitely did not unless I wanted to pay for it on my own!).  So if I have to work, Kellogg's is the place for me. 

To commemorate my new job my bestie/former co-worker, Lori brought me over this yummy cookie bouquet today!