My Sporty Spice

We didn't have many plans this week, we decided on a staycation to get caught up on life so when we got an email about a batting clinic through Riley's new softball league, we decided to sign her up to dust off her bat and swing.  I was a little worried that she would be the youngest there but it turned out that only 6 girls signed up for the time we chose and they ranged from 6-9 so it was perfect.  There was a professional batting coach running it along with two high school players who were college bound so they were able to individualize the instruction to fit the level of the girls.  The batting coach had an app that measures the trajectory of the swing along with swing time to the ball.  It was pretty cool.  He then took Riley's swing and layered it over professional athletes' swing.  He compared Riley's swing to Jennie Finch (USA Olympic player) and Riley has a pretty similar swing to her.  It was crazy, he also said her reflexes and bat swing are fast enough that she could play player pitch this year (versus the coaches pitch her age and grade default too).

I love watching Riley play any sport but particularly softball.  She becomes a different person on the field, her focus is unbreakable, she matures about 10 years and she's passionate and dedicated to it.  It made me very excited about this upcoming softball season!

Foot Update

First of all, I can't believe it's been 2 months since my last blog post. A true testament to the craziness of our lives right now, lots has happened since that last update, including a trip to Disneyland! (gasp, how could I not blog about that you ask!?!  Well talk to my son who refuses to sleep and sucks every last bit of energy that I have left in me, out of me!).  Oh and Riley has also lost her first and second tooth since my last blog post (oh the mommy shame!) 

We've also had a clubfoot checkup since then as well and well, it was with mixed reviews so that's probably why I haven't blogged about it, because I'm in denial that we are still fighting this battle with her feet.  This time her right foot is proving to be our problem child.  The surgery on her left is still a success but now her right foot appears to be turning in (proof in the wear on the outside of her right foot), this after being out of her brace for 3 1/2 years.  Why!?!

She's also walking on her toes which is in-line with the tight Achilles that we've been feeling.  Dr H doesn't want to intervene yet but surgery was brought into the conversation this time.  Same exact thing as on her left foot including the cavus tendon release on the bottom of her foot.  Again, why!?!  We chatted a little about out struggles because he had a resident student in with him (first time in our entire time of seeing him that there has been a medical student with him, thank you Stanford Medical - said sarcastically, I'm all for teaching but when it comes to my daughter's future, I'd like the full attention of the expert) so we didn't get too in depth but we both mentioned that we're supposed to be done with relapse by 5 and here we are, still facing them at 6 1/2.  Again, why!?!  I am very exhausted and deflated from all of these uphill battles.  For a kid that is so active this is just getting unfair.  She's now into soccer (another thing that we've started since my last post), basketball, and softball so I'm trying to figure out when I would even schedule a surgery to have the least impact on her sports and school.  I'm guessing maybe next summer, though that would delay getting her on the swim team which is supposed to benefit her foot and obviously ruin her summer.  It's very frustrating and exhausting.

On a positive note, we met a little girl (well she's in 7th grade) and her mom that live not too far from us and see Dr H as well and Riley and the little girl have really hit it off.  She has unilateral clubfoot but had a similar surgery so she and Riley can compare scars and talk about having different feet.  It's been nice for Riley to have someone to relate too and it's been really nice for me to have another mom face to face to talk to about it.  I have met a lot of supportive moms in the online groups but for some reason I felt so much more comfortable with everything that I have been feeling after speaking in person to this mom (because she's feeling everything I'm feeling!)

So that's the update, not such great news but we go back in December so we'll see what he says!

See the wear on the outside of the shoe on the left.  No Bueno!

Biker Babe

Memorial Day we were at our neighbor's house and Riley asked her friend if she could try her bike out, she said yes.  Her friend's bike didn't have training wheels and Riley has never ridden a bike without training wheels but I told her she could try.  She got on and started pedaling and she was riding a bike, I was in awe!

It's A Wrap

We had our very last class party last week, what a great year it's been.  We couldn't have asked for  better teacher for Riley and it was a really great group of very sweet kids.  I loved being a class mom, I only wish that I could have spent more time in the class.  In honor of summer, we moved the party outside.  I even cooked hot dogs in the crock pot, which came out surprisingly well.  I am super sad that the school year is over and the class must move on, the moms volunteering today all tried to convince Riley's teacher to move up to 1st grade (she used to teach 1st) and to keep the kids together, while she agreed it would be a great class to move together, it's not going to happen.  So sad to move on from such a great teacher.  Fingers crossed that Jacob gets her!

Open House

Riley's class had Open House a few weeks ago and Riley was SO excited to show us around and show off her work.  Her teacher also had a "Guess How Many Starbursts in the Jar" and guess who won...little dude!  He sure does love his Starbursts!

Hoops

We signed both kids up for basketball through the YMCA this late spring.  Jacob's old coach originally approached Marc about playing on his new team since he left the program that we had Jacob in so we signed him up.  Jacob has a hard time making connections with people and he loved Coach Ernie so we decided to follow him to this new program.  Jacob was in WAY over his head as he was on a team of mostly 5 and 6 year olds so being 3 was rough developmentally.  But he came around.  After we signed Jacob up, they needed more girl players for Riley's age group and she's been asking to play so we got her involved, it overlapped with softball a bit which made for long days (especially on the rare Saturday that she had PT).  Riley was the youngest on her team also and the shortest by at least a head but she was super into it. 

Finally A Break

We finally got a break from the clubfoot saga, I think we all needed some good news as I know I was getting pretty beat down and discouraged by our recent set backs.  We went to Dr Hoffinger two weeks ago (don't ask me about time flying by, I seriously don't know where it goes...oh yeah, to the 3 and 6 year old!).  I was seriously expecting the worst, I was well prepared to have to talk Riley down off of a ledge when he said she needed a new night brace or AFO.  I was convinced we were headed down that path, because while we have been fairly diligent about her PT (ok, we skip some nights, it's a lot), he feet are still really tight.  We were there 2 months ago and Bev, Allison (his nurse practitioner), and Dr H both made comments about how tall Riley looked.  I made a comment that perhaps that's why were having these issues and Dr H nodded enthusiastically.  She's really tight, like really tight but...she's also perfectly aligned when she walks and runs so Dr H doesn't want to intervene right now.  He thinks intervening right now isn't necessary and he's going to watch it closely (like every 2 months).  In addition to continuing our PT stretches (insert groan here), he prescribed lots and lots of activity, I think we pretty much have that covered here!  Both kids are in a perpetual motion!  Soooo, we finally got a break on this rollercoaster ride, a much needed break...especially for a certain little 6 year old!

It was sports day at school so she wore her softball uniform

We celebrated with lunch in Walnut Creek

Eat up buttercup!

I Knew the Day Would Come Eventually

Riley has been a rock star with her Physical Therapy, she has won over the entire staff at the Sports Medicine Facility (no shocker there) and has made friends with the various high school girl athletes that are there for PT for injuries from sports.  In a way it's sort of nice for her to see these athletic girls and she kind of looks up to them.  BUT PT is a chore, it's literally a 1/2 hour of stretches and exercises every night, on top of homework, sports, Jacob's breathing, cooking dinner, making lunches for the next day, etc.  It's rough, but the payout versus the alternative treatments is exponentially better so we muster on.  The other night I was multi-tasking between Jacob's breathing and Riley's PT exercises.  I had her doing her stair stretches while I got Jacob set up with his asthma treatment and Riley turns to me and says "I wish I didn't have clubfeet."  I didn't know what to say other than "I know bubba, me too."  Then she followed it up with "Why am I the only one with clubfeet?  You, daddy and Jacob don't have it, why do I?"  I couldn't give her a reason, we DON'T know why she has clubfeet.  I finally told her to always remember that we are never given more than we can handle and that everything happens for a reason, maybe her reason is to help fix kids with clubfeet or prove that you can be a rock star softball player even with clubfeet.  That seemed to be enough for her.  But it's not for me, why does she have this?  Why won't it go away?  I've always accepted her feet as just a card we were dealt and it's a part of our life, but we're supposed to be done, we're supposed to be past it and were not and I am growing weary of it, especially now that it's affecting my baby girl. 

Where to Begin?

I don't even know where to begin, just when I was beginning to get comfortable and think that we actually had clubfoot behind us, we get hit with another bump in the road.  It started in late February/ early March but I tried to ignore it.  I started to notice Riley's left foot turning in when she ran or took steps down the stairs.  I tried to ignore it since last year's surgery was supposed to be it, no more issues.  A couple of weeks ago, Marc and I were standing at the kitchen table and Riley was walking down the stairs.  Her left foot was drastically turning in and her heel wasn't touching the ground, my heart sank and I literally got nauseous, it was the point where I knew I couldn't ignore it anymore.  I turned to Marc and told him I was concerned about her foot again, that I've noticed it turning in and her heel not completely hitting the ground.  He replied that he's noticed it too, especially at our 5K on St Patrick's Day and when was she supposed to go to Dr Hoffinger.  Her appointment was still 2 months out so I decided to call and see when they could get us in.  Turns out they had availability the Friday before Easter. 

Yet again, I was right about her foot.  Her tendons were tightening up, this time it was her heel cord and it's apparently not a common issue at this point in her treatment or after the tendon transfer (which the Achilles' was the one tendon that he didn't touch because we lengthened that when she was 3 1/2 months old!).  Sigh.  Lucky us!  Our options: 1) Increase stretches, 2) Re-cast (not an option since she's in the middle of softball season) 3) Night-time brace that stretches 4) Another tenotomy (surgery she had at 3 1/2 months) followed by casting and brace.  Grrrr!

We chose option 1, seemed the least interruptive to her day to day activities.  We go back the end of May for a re-check and if her feet aren't looser than we figure out next steps, most likely a night-time brace.   Riley's teacher offered to have her stretch before recess so Riley is doing stretches before she plays, there's a group of girls doing them with her and then they walk a lap before taking off to play.  Plus we do stretches before bed.

In the meantime, on our way out Dr Hoffinger mentioned that if we wanted to do some physical therapy to learn more stretches that he'd write us a prescription for it.  Hallelujah!  I've been asking for PT since her first relapse so I jumped on it.  They recommended the Center for Children's Sports Medicine at CHO Oakland on their Walnut Creek Campus.  So I'm driving up to Walnut Creek twice a week for PT.  I've got to say it is worth it, Riley loves her PT, she's very sweet to Riley PLUS it's mostly high school athletes there and they all love Riley because she's so little and gets right in there doing her exercises with them, no fear with that girl.  Her evaluation showed tight hamstrings and calves and also weak hips so we're focusing on strengthening her hips as well as stretching out her calves.  She gets massages to manually loosen her legs (can I get PT!?!) and then they do a bunch of stretches.  At this point I will do anything to prevent another surgery.

I also ordered a dorsi-ramp from Amazon to get a better stretch out of her.  Seriously, I'm hell bent on avoiding surgery. 

As for me, I am SO over clubfeet, we are supposed to be done with it by now.  Between her age and her surgery we are supposed to be past all of this and living a normal life.  I'm beginning to think that my expectations of her feet are too high, that they are never going to be perfect, and the sooner that I  accept this and move on, the better off that we will be.  And as horrible as this sounds, I am off from work, finally getting a chance to catch up on life and instead of doing this, I am shuttling to a from PT and Speech Therapy (for Jacob).  I know, I feel like a horrible mom for even thinking or saying it because I know Riley deserves all of the chances at having corrected feet that she can get but seriously, when are we going to get a break from all of this!  I want to move on from clubfeet but I'm beginning to think that may not be in our cards at this point.  Sigh.  We'll keep tryng and keep moving forward to give her the best possible future.

First PT session

Strengthening those hips

When did she grow up?  Off to PT one her own while I sit in the waiting room

Post PT treat!

Position still looks good

Before PT

Batting

Here are some videos of our little slugger!  We still need to work on our throwing but she's a serious slugger!

Softball!

I'm so far behind, that I haven't even blogged about Riley's first softball season.  She absolutely LOVES softball.  She's played through the city for the past 3 years on a co-ed team but she was finally eligible to play in the all girl's league so we signed her up!  She absolutely loves it, she's so focused and actually gets upset when there are no practices or games.  Since I've been transitioning out of work and am now out of work, I've been able to get involved which is super fun.  They rotate positions and there are no outs at this point so everyone bats.  It's been mostly off of the tee up until today when they did coach's pitch for two swings, guess who hit the ball on the first pitch!  The one and only Ri-Ri!  Her kindergarten teacher even came out to watch this game and got to see Riley in action hitting the ball for the first time without the tee.

The team - they really are enthusiastic about playing!

First game!  The cuteness is much too much!

Cheering her team on!

Seriously, how cute are they!?!

A year ago, she was in a cast recovering from surgery, this year, she's sprinting for home plate.  Look at that focus!

 

Channeling her inner Buster Posey

Playing first base

And what does Jacob do during games you ask?  He sits in the shade eating seeds! LOL

Riley's teacher came out to watch her play the past Saturday!  What a special treat that was! 

My Brave Little Toaster

Well, it's hard to believe but it's been 1 year since Riley's ATTT surgery and cavus tendon release.  I really can't believe how far we've come, castings, AFOs, walkers seem like a distant memory.  The scars are mostly faded and Riley is back to her active self.  Making the decision to operate was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make as a parent.  Marc has input in Riley's clubfoot treatment but most of the burden and decisions have fallen as me as I've attended every appointment, done all of the research and have made it my mission in life to prove the Dr who said she couldn't do it all dead wrong.  When we decided to operate there was no definite that this would work, we didn't know the short term or long term effects, I just knew that I wanted her done with clubfeet before she started kindergarten.  I'm not sorry for this journey we've been on, we had hoped it would have been smoother, more turn key but it's shaped the world as we know it.  I've meet amazing families who are going through similar decisions, every first for Riley is even more special because we know it's been harder for her to get there.  But I look at these two perfect feet, I watch her running the bases in kickball at school with her peers (she's surprisingly fast), and I see her smile as she plays her first season of softball and it's all worth it.  I learn new lessons from Riley daily and I am both inspired and humbled by her persistence and take charge attitude.  Some physical activities may take her a little extra time but she never gives up, she doesn't take mediocre for an answer and I will be forever grateful for her stubborn attitude (for once it's a positive). 

These feet make me smile: 1 Year post-surgery!

Birthdays, Birthdays, and More Birthdays!

Well, I'm quite behind on blogging and life in general.  Work has been tortuous lately and is sucking every last bit of energy out of me.  My job has been up in the air for about a year now but now that the merger has closed between Safeway and Albertson's on top of my company going through a sales organization reorg, doom day is pending (more on that later).  Unfortunately, I met recently with my boss and I didn't get a good feeling that there is a place for me in the new organization so I'm likely to be out of a job in the next few weeks.  Everything happens for a reason so if this is the case, then we shall figure it out but the stress of not knowing has take a toll on my energy (and patience) levels.  BUT...

Through all of this, of course we had to celebrate Riley's birthday!  And I had a birthday in there as well.  But enough about me and more about Riley's very Frozen Party!  We had a hard time getting Riley's invite list low enough that we could actually afford to have her party somewhere (and most places have a 16 kid limit) so we opted for our house with what else? a bouncy house!  The birthday girl had a fantastic time.  She loves her birthday, who can blame her!?!  I think she had 4 or 5 celebrations between her party, tepenyaki, her actual birthday and her celebrations in her class and at EDCC.

Riley has some serious hula hoop skills, I think this may be her ticket to a college scholarship!

And then there was my birthday, Marc tried really hard to make it special but the kids were in RARE form, let me tell you.  LOL!  So no pictures from that glorious day, I did escape the insanity to get a pedicure but overall, it wasn't a picture worthy day.  Bummer since it was on a Saturday!

Happy 6th Birthday Riley!

Wow, they say the days are long and the years are short and I certainly feel that this year.  How can our Riley be 6 years old today!  It's hard to believe but it's true, it's been 6 years since you entered this world 4 weeks early, as always with your own agenda (which I am still trying to figure out!)  I've said it year after year but from day one you've been my hero and my teacher.  This year was no exception.  In your 5th year you were faced with many more obstacles and milestones.

In February, you had pretty extensive surgery to correct your left clubfoot.  When I was breaking apart inside about you having surgery, you faced it with an admirable sense of bravery and stoicism.  You are definitely aged well beyond your years.  You have faced life's challenge - your clubfeet - with  bravery and pure acceptance.  When I was upset about having to send you into surgery, you were calm and collected and excited to move to the next chapter of your life free of casts and AFOs.  You went into the OR with a smile and a few hours after surgery we were in the play room and doing silly selfies from your hospital bed.  You light up a room with your beautiful smile and everyone who comes in contact with you is happier because they have known you.  You have a way of bringing joy to all around you.

In March, when your friend's dad passed away suddenly, you wanted to buy her a Care Bear to cheer her up.  You were still recovering from surgery yourself, just about a week post-op but you insisted that a Cheer Bear would make her feel better and when we went to visit her, you took off with your little walker, playing with her like nothing was different about her and brought a little bit of happiness to her for a few hours.  You have a strong, compassionate, undiscriminating heart.  I see it day in and day out but how you helped your friend that day was beyond admirable, especially as you were recovering yourself.

June 1st brought graduation from kindercare and starting "camp" at the EDCC at your elementary school.  You were nervous at first but by the third or fourth week we would walk to Peet's and you would see countless kids that you knew.  "oh that's Lauren, Chloe, Sydney" you would say like you had known them your whole life, "They're stringrays," you'd finish.  That meant they were in 2nd grade or above and they all came flocking to give you hugs.  By mid-summer, the EDCC teachers had told us how you were on your way to ruling the school.  Our little Riley, leading the way!

In August, you started kindergarten and you didn't miss a beat.  You jumped right in with an extreme love of school and learning. You love writers workshop and you love math.  In fact, just before winter break your teacher told me that you are the top girl in your class for math.  You love to whizz through math problems, do addition in the car and have an overall love for learning.  I love watching you have such excitement over education and going to school. 

And in November, about 9 months post-op, you had been released from your AFO and Dr Hoffinger said there would be no more casts, surgeries, or AFOs in your future.  I will never forget the happy look on your face.  It's been a long 5 1/2 years as we traveled the clubfoot journey but no one will ever be quite equipped to travel it like you were.  My darling, you did this all on your own, I was just there to guide you, but I remember the days of your night night shoes where you insisted on putting them on yourself, when you finally graduated from them and you argued with me for days about having to wear them and Dr Bossyman said you had to despite my best efforts to convince you that he said you could stop, facing your first set of casts when you relapsed, getting calls from your teacher asking if it was ok for you to be running and sliding and jumping in your casts, trying to walk just a few days after you surgery, seeing your foot for the first time after surgery, and of course the countless extra stinky feet you put in Dr H's face.  When most kids would have given up and felt sorry for themselves because of all the casts, AFOs and Drs visits, you kept going.  You have gotten through your long journey with your fantastic attitude and I hope that you always remember how far you have come.  Never be ashamed of the way you were born and be proud of all that you've overcome. 

But I am also reminded many days that you are still just a little girl.  You get excited easily and have a hard time calming down.  Despite your bravery you still scare easily and often get upset.  When there was an attempted break-in on our house, it effected you immensly.  Suddenly, a piece of your innocence had been taken away and you became truly aware that there is evil in this world.  Suddently you had to learn about drugs and the effect they can have on you, the judicial system, jail.  And you were left with worry about your safety in your own home.  It was a reminder to me that you are still a little girl, I take for granted your maturity, your acceptance of what is handed to us but that incident reminded me that no matter how brave and strong you are, you still need to be reassured that you are safe. 

But at the end of the day, you are just a normal kindergartener (ok, not so normal, more of an extraordinary little girl), you've taken a liking to running and love to participate in the run club when I can take you Tuesday and Thursday mornings.  You did your first Turkey Trot this Thanksgiving and we have a 5K set for March as well as starting softball.  And of course your brother, oh how you love your brother!  My heart is overwhelmed with love and joy when I see the way that you and brother look out for each other.  I'm glad you have each other and I know your love for each other will continue to grow as the years go by.  Happy Birthday my beautiful girl, I know 6 will be a fantastic year.

There's a quote that I've come across many times while I've been on Pinterest: "And though she be but little, she is fierce."  This was true of you as a 4 1/2 lb newborn the blew the Drs away, Drs that were ready to whisk you away to the NICU but were overwhelmed by your alertness and energy, but it is certainly true of your 5s, you faced your 5s and conquered them with a ferocity full of life, I can't wait to see what your 6s bring!

Happy Birthday, my sweet beautiful girl!  I wish you much happiness and wondrous things in this 6th year of your life.

I still need to snap that 6 year old chair picture

Celebrating her birthday with Nana and Poppy!
 

Thankfulness

So I'm a little behind, my parent came up for the week and it was pure chaos with the kids excitement.  They had so much fun and Riley even got to sleep over at the hotel (and ride in a booster seat since cousin Daniel is in a booster seat now).  Jacob was especially excited to have a whole week of stay at home days even though he talked about all of his school friends all week. 

Off to the hotel with Nana and Poppy

We started Thanksgiving Day off with our first Turkey Trot, I think we are most definitely going to have to make this an annual tradition.  Marc and I ran the 10K and it was great!  I actually had my personal best time for a run averaging a pace of 9min 15sec per mile.  After our run we had about an hour before Riley ran in the kids' 1/4 mile run, next year I'll have her do the 1/2 mile as the 1/4 mile was too short but because of her age they kind of talked me into having her do the 1/4 mile. 

This is what I get for pictures these days

And she's off

She took off at the finish line, she smoked me!

So proud of her!

She loved it!

My running buddy

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for many things but I'm especially thankful for Riley being able to run in the Turkey Trot.  I'm thankful for what looks to be a future that is cast and surgery-free and I am thankful for her ability to accept her clubfeet and not let it affect her life.  She could very easily use it as a crutch and an excuse to not do stuff but she shrugs her shoulders and just says "Yeah, I had clubfeet, so what."  I'm thankful for her resilience, ability to face adversity and most of all her contagious smile that despite countless casts, AFOs and a pretty major surgery, never stopped smiling.

Cheers to all of that and more!

After our run, I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for us, which I failed to capture a picture of.

Friday, we woke up early and hit up the Outlet Mall for a little Black Friday shopping.  And then went to the regular mall for more deals with kids in tow, they were good sports and we got lots of great deals!

Black Friday shopping!

Riley got a nice Buster Posey jersey earlier in the week so we let Jacob get a Build-A-Bear

The kids literally go nuts for this store

Jacob made BuberBear - his new Spider-Man bear (he calls Spider-Man "Buber-Man")

After shopping, I made Marc go for a run with me!  Needed to run off that gluttony!

Jacob loving on his poppy

Dinner with my pretty girl!

And just like that another vacation is over and now onto the next big activities...Jacob's birthday AND Hanukkah!  Let the holiday/birthday season begin!