It's hard to believe that we are now nearly 4 months post- op for Riley, time has really flown by. I must say for the most part this process has been way easier than I could have imagined. Today I took Ri up to Walnut Creek for her 1 month post-cast check up with Dr Hoffinger. I can't believe she's been out of her cast for a month, it sort of seems longer but she is now well adjusted to her AFO and is walking without it on at night, it's been so hot here that I've been letting her walk around after her bath in the evening without her AFO or socks to help keep her foot less sweaty, I got in a little trouble for that but I am beyond thrilled to say she got an A+ checkup. Her feet (both of them) look absolutely beautiful, especially her operated one, I can't get over the transformation. Every night Riley puts Mederma and lotion on her scars and we do stretches. Well, it paid off because her flexibility was top notch today, he was so pleased with her correction and the placement of her tendon was perfect. I feel about as elated as Anna in Frozen when they finally opened the castle gates (yes, I just compared myself to Anna from Frozen, don't judge, I basically watch Frozen and Monsters Inc between the two kids peppered in with some baseball at the request of Marc).
It's been a long, hard journey but I think we might be there. I am still filled with a ton of guilt that I have somehow done something wrong to put Riley through this, which logically I know is ridiculous but I've learned the heart of a mother isn't always rationale. I still cry on the inside daily at the unknown future struggles that Ri may face, it seems a lot of the future of "clubfooties" is unknown with the Ponseti treatment because it's so new but I worry about pain, about her not being able to do all of the things that she wants to do because her feet limit her and I feel guilty because I can't protect her from this. It's been a hard year so far with all of this. I was talking to a co-worker whose niece had clubfoot and who has 3 girls herself with their own struggles this week at work and she gave me the biggest compliment. She said on the outside looking at me, through all of this I have come across so composed and brave. I laughed and told her I was breaking on the inside, especially leading up to the surgery but I knew I had to hold it together for Riley, this is the fate and the path we were given and we could either be a victim and complain and whine about it, or take it head on, for Riley's sake, we took it head on. It's not a path I would have openly chosen, I know it could be a lot worse, but it could also be a lot better. I know if I wasn't worrying about her feet, I'd be worrying about something else but instead I worry about all of the normal stuff a mom worries about plus her feet. The list of worries are endless but I worry most about her future and what it will bring for her, will kids notice and tease her, will she have extreme pain, will she need more surgeries, the list goes on and on.
But for today, we are happy; me because her surgery looks successful, her right foot is maintaining correction and flexibility without surgical intervention. And Riley because, though she has at least another month in her AFO, she's allowed to go swimming at a birthday party tomorrow and do anything she wants except for trampolines or bouncy houses. So today, I'll forget about the unknowns of tomorrow and take the win I can get.
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| Waiting to see Dr Hoffinger |
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| Our traditional picture, she says we always have to take a picture no matter what! |
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| I posted this one on Facebook, I don't think I had ever posted a picture of her feet pre-treatment, I don't know if I was embarrassed or afraid but the stark difference in her feet at 11 days versus post-treatment is astounding. I can't believe what medicine has done for Riley. I can't help but think how happy my Poppa would if he knew how her feet turned out! |
