I Knew the Day Would Come Eventually

Riley has been a rock star with her Physical Therapy, she has won over the entire staff at the Sports Medicine Facility (no shocker there) and has made friends with the various high school girl athletes that are there for PT for injuries from sports.  In a way it's sort of nice for her to see these athletic girls and she kind of looks up to them.  BUT PT is a chore, it's literally a 1/2 hour of stretches and exercises every night, on top of homework, sports, Jacob's breathing, cooking dinner, making lunches for the next day, etc.  It's rough, but the payout versus the alternative treatments is exponentially better so we muster on.  The other night I was multi-tasking between Jacob's breathing and Riley's PT exercises.  I had her doing her stair stretches while I got Jacob set up with his asthma treatment and Riley turns to me and says "I wish I didn't have clubfeet."  I didn't know what to say other than "I know bubba, me too."  Then she followed it up with "Why am I the only one with clubfeet?  You, daddy and Jacob don't have it, why do I?"  I couldn't give her a reason, we DON'T know why she has clubfeet.  I finally told her to always remember that we are never given more than we can handle and that everything happens for a reason, maybe her reason is to help fix kids with clubfeet or prove that you can be a rock star softball player even with clubfeet.  That seemed to be enough for her.  But it's not for me, why does she have this?  Why won't it go away?  I've always accepted her feet as just a card we were dealt and it's a part of our life, but we're supposed to be done, we're supposed to be past it and were not and I am growing weary of it, especially now that it's affecting my baby girl. 

Where to Begin?

I don't even know where to begin, just when I was beginning to get comfortable and think that we actually had clubfoot behind us, we get hit with another bump in the road.  It started in late February/ early March but I tried to ignore it.  I started to notice Riley's left foot turning in when she ran or took steps down the stairs.  I tried to ignore it since last year's surgery was supposed to be it, no more issues.  A couple of weeks ago, Marc and I were standing at the kitchen table and Riley was walking down the stairs.  Her left foot was drastically turning in and her heel wasn't touching the ground, my heart sank and I literally got nauseous, it was the point where I knew I couldn't ignore it anymore.  I turned to Marc and told him I was concerned about her foot again, that I've noticed it turning in and her heel not completely hitting the ground.  He replied that he's noticed it too, especially at our 5K on St Patrick's Day and when was she supposed to go to Dr Hoffinger.  Her appointment was still 2 months out so I decided to call and see when they could get us in.  Turns out they had availability the Friday before Easter. 

Yet again, I was right about her foot.  Her tendons were tightening up, this time it was her heel cord and it's apparently not a common issue at this point in her treatment or after the tendon transfer (which the Achilles' was the one tendon that he didn't touch because we lengthened that when she was 3 1/2 months old!).  Sigh.  Lucky us!  Our options: 1) Increase stretches, 2) Re-cast (not an option since she's in the middle of softball season) 3) Night-time brace that stretches 4) Another tenotomy (surgery she had at 3 1/2 months) followed by casting and brace.  Grrrr!

We chose option 1, seemed the least interruptive to her day to day activities.  We go back the end of May for a re-check and if her feet aren't looser than we figure out next steps, most likely a night-time brace.   Riley's teacher offered to have her stretch before recess so Riley is doing stretches before she plays, there's a group of girls doing them with her and then they walk a lap before taking off to play.  Plus we do stretches before bed.

In the meantime, on our way out Dr Hoffinger mentioned that if we wanted to do some physical therapy to learn more stretches that he'd write us a prescription for it.  Hallelujah!  I've been asking for PT since her first relapse so I jumped on it.  They recommended the Center for Children's Sports Medicine at CHO Oakland on their Walnut Creek Campus.  So I'm driving up to Walnut Creek twice a week for PT.  I've got to say it is worth it, Riley loves her PT, she's very sweet to Riley PLUS it's mostly high school athletes there and they all love Riley because she's so little and gets right in there doing her exercises with them, no fear with that girl.  Her evaluation showed tight hamstrings and calves and also weak hips so we're focusing on strengthening her hips as well as stretching out her calves.  She gets massages to manually loosen her legs (can I get PT!?!) and then they do a bunch of stretches.  At this point I will do anything to prevent another surgery.

I also ordered a dorsi-ramp from Amazon to get a better stretch out of her.  Seriously, I'm hell bent on avoiding surgery. 

As for me, I am SO over clubfeet, we are supposed to be done with it by now.  Between her age and her surgery we are supposed to be past all of this and living a normal life.  I'm beginning to think that my expectations of her feet are too high, that they are never going to be perfect, and the sooner that I  accept this and move on, the better off that we will be.  And as horrible as this sounds, I am off from work, finally getting a chance to catch up on life and instead of doing this, I am shuttling to a from PT and Speech Therapy (for Jacob).  I know, I feel like a horrible mom for even thinking or saying it because I know Riley deserves all of the chances at having corrected feet that she can get but seriously, when are we going to get a break from all of this!  I want to move on from clubfeet but I'm beginning to think that may not be in our cards at this point.  Sigh.  We'll keep tryng and keep moving forward to give her the best possible future.

First PT session

Strengthening those hips

When did she grow up?  Off to PT one her own while I sit in the waiting room

Post PT treat!

Position still looks good

Before PT

Batting

Here are some videos of our little slugger!  We still need to work on our throwing but she's a serious slugger!

Softball!

I'm so far behind, that I haven't even blogged about Riley's first softball season.  She absolutely LOVES softball.  She's played through the city for the past 3 years on a co-ed team but she was finally eligible to play in the all girl's league so we signed her up!  She absolutely loves it, she's so focused and actually gets upset when there are no practices or games.  Since I've been transitioning out of work and am now out of work, I've been able to get involved which is super fun.  They rotate positions and there are no outs at this point so everyone bats.  It's been mostly off of the tee up until today when they did coach's pitch for two swings, guess who hit the ball on the first pitch!  The one and only Ri-Ri!  Her kindergarten teacher even came out to watch this game and got to see Riley in action hitting the ball for the first time without the tee.

The team - they really are enthusiastic about playing!

First game!  The cuteness is much too much!

Cheering her team on!

Seriously, how cute are they!?!

A year ago, she was in a cast recovering from surgery, this year, she's sprinting for home plate.  Look at that focus!

 

Channeling her inner Buster Posey

Playing first base

And what does Jacob do during games you ask?  He sits in the shade eating seeds! LOL

Riley's teacher came out to watch her play the past Saturday!  What a special treat that was! 

My Brave Little Toaster

Well, it's hard to believe but it's been 1 year since Riley's ATTT surgery and cavus tendon release.  I really can't believe how far we've come, castings, AFOs, walkers seem like a distant memory.  The scars are mostly faded and Riley is back to her active self.  Making the decision to operate was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make as a parent.  Marc has input in Riley's clubfoot treatment but most of the burden and decisions have fallen as me as I've attended every appointment, done all of the research and have made it my mission in life to prove the Dr who said she couldn't do it all dead wrong.  When we decided to operate there was no definite that this would work, we didn't know the short term or long term effects, I just knew that I wanted her done with clubfeet before she started kindergarten.  I'm not sorry for this journey we've been on, we had hoped it would have been smoother, more turn key but it's shaped the world as we know it.  I've meet amazing families who are going through similar decisions, every first for Riley is even more special because we know it's been harder for her to get there.  But I look at these two perfect feet, I watch her running the bases in kickball at school with her peers (she's surprisingly fast), and I see her smile as she plays her first season of softball and it's all worth it.  I learn new lessons from Riley daily and I am both inspired and humbled by her persistence and take charge attitude.  Some physical activities may take her a little extra time but she never gives up, she doesn't take mediocre for an answer and I will be forever grateful for her stubborn attitude (for once it's a positive). 

These feet make me smile: 1 Year post-surgery!

Where O Where Have We Been!

I wish I had a really cool story as to where I have been for the last month but the truth is, I got a new phone in January! Yes, January, and have not for the life of me been able to figure out how to download my photos onto my computer until today.  Yes, that's two months of trying, kids waking up to interrupt me, I know lame, but I figured it out (or I got lucky) so I get ready for lots of photos and videos, we've actually been quite busy.

I am now officially a Temp Stay-At-Home Mom.  I say temp because starting April 20th, I will be working 2 days a week at Peet's headquarters doing Category Management and then come June I will be there full time filling in for a friend while she is out on Maternity Leave, I am really excited to start there, it's a headquarter role which I've never done and I of course love coffee, and Peet's is our favorite.

Since I'm off we moved Jacob to part-time daycare so I have my Loo on Tuesdays and Thursdays which we are both loving.  I've also stepped up and am helping with Riley's softball team, which is so much fun!

So that's where we've been, my total technological lameness has kept me from keeping up with this blog so I will now attempt to catch up.  Brace yourselves for the Cliff Notes version of our last 2 months!