As The Saying Goes: All Good Things Must Come to An End

Well, tomorrow I go back to work.  I am super very sad to be heading back.  We managed to make lemonade from our lemons.  We didn't want Riley to have surgery but I used the last four weeks as a way to reconnect with my kids.  I have had a wonderful four weeks with Riley and Jacob and I am so sad to be sending them back to day care full time.  I know that Riley is excited to go (Jacob, not so much, he's my antisocial one) but I am going to fully miss spending time with them.  I've learned so much over the past four weeks, I've learned my kids, while they think they need stuff, all they need is me, sitting on the ground playing Legos, or drinking my coffee while they eat breakfast or going for walks and searching for turkeys.  We didn't go out and spend a lot of money (mostly because Ri was immobile) but we made a ton of memories and I learned how wonderful my kids are.  They are kind, compassionate, loving, smart kids.  Jacob has the best belly laugh I have ever heard and I got to hear more of it over the past four weeks than I have his entire life.  I will truly miss being with them as much as I have been with them come tomorrow.

I pretty much accomplished all that I wanted to accomplish minus reading as much as I had set out wanting to do but I gained two little buddies and I will never regret the last four weeks we had together, I got to craft a little, we colored together, we baked, I became a master Rainbow Loomer and I realized that Riley and Jacob are my greatest works and they deserve my whole heart and soul.  My company won't fold because I decided to invest in my kids more but my kids will collapse if I invest in work more than them.

So while the world is talking about how women should "Lean In" at work, I'm choosing to lean in to my kids and their childhood.  I want more laughter, more fun, more building Legos and Rainbow Loom bracelets and less shuffling from one thing to the next just to stay on a schedule.  I want more cuddling and belting out Frozen songs at the top of our lungs and less work emails and sleepless nights worrying about work.  I want more simple memories with my babies, while they are still babies.

I Survived

Well, I officially survived my first business trip but not without a few casualties.  I was a HOT mess saying good bye on Wednesday morning, I started bawling when Riley said she wanted to come with me and then saying good bye to Jacob was awful.  Then he started crying when I started crying.  I was a mess, Marc was so worried about me that he followed me out to my car to make sure I was ok.  I was fine once I got on the plane even though I really did not want to go.  We got to Chicago around 3:40PM but the guy I was traveling with went standby on my flight and they lost his bag so we didn't get to downtown until like 5:30ish.  I pumped quickly and then went and did a little retail therapy, we were staying on Michigan Ave so how could I not?  This was the view of Michigan Ave. from my room, not too shaby!

I did a little shopping, picked up some dinner and ate in my room.  I have to admit, it was sort of lovely laying in bed at 8:15 and reading a magazine, in fact I read 4 magazines on that trip (I still have like 4 more in order to just catch up to my current magazines).  I also Skyped with the kids, well Riley, Jacob was a hot mess so after a few minutes Marc took him upstairs to bed but Riley and I chatted over Skype for about an hour, it was really fun, I felt like I was there with her eating dinner.   And it was awesome to have a real conversation with her, she told me who she played with, what she learned in phonics, she told on daddy for picking them up late and that Jacob was the last baby in the room.  It made it much easier to be away from her because I felt like we could catch up plus we got to interact through Skype.  Thank you technology!  Thursday Marc took Riley with him to work and then his group went to the San Jose Giants game with a bunch of their kids so Riley was super excited and she had a blast!

I came home Thursday and my flight wasn't until 8:10PM so I planned on pumping at the airport and then grabbing dinner before the flight.  Well let's see the first casualty was my suitcase which broke while going through security but ironically they didn't even look at the pumped milk (about 20oz) that I had with me at security, I don't know if I'm relieved or a little worried.  Then I went to pump in a bathroom (because airports have no mother rooms) and the battery pack didn't work.  Awesome, not panicking because I could still try to find an outlet.  Talk to some gate agents who tell me the companion bathroom is probably my best bet so I go in there, plug in, and try to pump, NOTHING!  Now panicking, I still have at least 8 hours until I am home!!!  Call Marc who runs to Babies R Us and gets me a manual pump while I sweat it (literally) out on the plane.  Fortunately my flight got in a little early and I raced home, Marc was able to fix my pump (which Medela claims has a bad power cord but I'm not convinced since the battery pack didn't work either) and all was good, hopefully this pump will last a few more months!  I finally went to bed at midnight and  the kids were up bright and early at 6AM so I am exhausted but we all survived and the smiles and hugs I got were awesome!

Last Week

Well it's official, I am done with maternity leave, I am so super sad.  I've been sad all week, it's something I've been dreading for weeks now.  I have been working from home for 2 weeks and this week I just could not concentrate, I just wanted to spend my time with my little man.  I tried to take a ton of pictures of him this week so that I have stuff to look at next week.  Poor little guy knows to smile at my phone for pictures but not for my camera, he's so used to an iPhone or Blackberry in his face but that big bulky camera, no clue what that is.  The curse of being the second child!

Leaving Jacob behind at day care is definitely hitting me harder than it did with Riley, I have no idea why.  He spent the afternoon at day care today and as soon as I left the building I started bawling, how could my leave possibly be over!?!  I seriously can't fathom not being with him next week.  He did great at day care, he napped, ate and his teacher said he loved laughing and smiling at everyone.  Two of Riley's friends have younger siblings in his class (though they are about to turn 1 and will be transitioning to the 1s room) so not that he knows any different, but there were two familiar faces in there with him.  They loved havaing Jacob there today (one of Riley's old teachers from the 1s class stopped us as we were doing pick up and told us how much she loved spending time with him today) and so I know he's in good hands but I am so going to miss him incredibly next week. 

As you can see my Jacob-pants now does not mind tummy time at all!